Ode to my beard

Hello beard,

I love you. You're so amazing. You frame my face and make me look dignified. Without you I'm naked flesh. I just wish you wouldn't grow more than 1/2 an inch. But I do like you. Even though I curse the day I shave and watch you wash away. I miss you as you clog my drain. You're dark and so warm. The wind blows but you stay with me and keep me warm. Your only job is to hang around but you do so much more. Some people hate you. I think they're just jealous. You're actually really nice, when rubbed the right way. But don't get me wrong you can be just as rough. You're exactly like me but you show it much better than I ever could. Teach me your secrets. How do you bait those with smooth cheeks and pretty eyes? I'd bring them closer to you if I only knew. You must really love me to stay attached to a hopeless romantic like me. Thanks. I think I'll keep you this time. Why? Because it's cold outside and you're staying around until the first day of 70 degrees. Or until I grow weary of you. Then my friend you'll go down the drain. But you'll come back right? Of course, you always do.